Before you all shun me for the Frozen reference, it is appropriate I promise. A few weeks ago I was speaking to a very close friend and she mentioned how she had many emotional moments leading up to graduating college. The idea of leaving a part of our lives behind can be uncomfortable. When we move on from high school, college, we get married or have kids we sacrifice something different. We move on from the innocence of school and living with our parents or now we are responsible for a new life. This is a natural occurrence in everyone’s lives. I happened to do the growing up and moving out rather quickly. Two weeks after I graduated high school, my husband proposed to me. I moved away to college and a year and a half later we were married at 19 and 20. We then proceeded to move across the country on our own. I wouldn’t say that was the easiest time in my life, but it was worth it.
Though days like yesterday help me reflect on where I’ve come from and how I’ve had to let go of different phases of my life. I went to see my younger brother who is now 13 be presented at my old high school’s basketball game. As I was driving the 30 minutes it takes I realized I was becoming nervous. I don’t speak or live close to many people I graduated with and now I knew none of these kids. I knew it was inevitable I would see someone I knew because my hometown is not that large. I was worried what it would be like going to a place I spent a long four years at. You see, many of my high school memories are good but the majority of them are not. I even told my sister, “I am so glad I am not in high school anymore, I feel bad for you.”
It seems that when we let go of our pasts, when we get married, live on our own, become adults that old person starts to fade away. I am a shadow of who I was 4 years ago. That person that I was then is unrecognizable. I almost feel that those times are a distant memory and I have become okay with it. As my friend pointed out to me, there is a distinct grieving period when letting go of our childhoods. We begin to realize things will never be the same again and at times that can be overwhelming but it can also be beautiful. If our lives stayed the same, we always had the same friends in the same town we would never be able to learn, achieve goals, or flourish in this life. If we always stayed with our parents we would never know how wonderful it can be to have your own home, make your own rules and establish new traditions. I reflected on how grateful I am to have had the experiences I have in the past.
I think that one of my favorite men may have said it best:
“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – Walt Disney
I hope that if there is anything you are holding onto, anger, bitterness or bad memories that you can learn to let them go and move on. It is true, life is flying by and one day I’m going to look back and wonder how I was this person I am at this single moment.
whoweare 